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Dating and relationships in the bible

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The process of meeting a spouse had very little to do with compatibility and personality traits, and everything to do with family lineage and economic status.Finding a mate functioned a lot more like a bartering system than dinner and a movie.In the nearly 10 years since I first wrote the Biblical Dating series on Boundless, I and other Boundless authors have addressed some pretty nuanced and specific questions about dating relationships.One of the great things about Boundless is that the community here is, within the confines of a clear and evangelical understanding of the Gospel, often pretty diverse in terms of the specific recommendations and approaches to dating represented by various authors.So if you are a regular and thorough Boundless reader, you've had a lot to think about!Recent months and years have also seen a more robust discussion about whether the Bible really has anything practical or specific to teach us about dating.

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If you answered “no” to any of the above questions, then maybe you should discuss those issues with your boyfriend or girlfriend.

Many want to know how they can go about getting to know someone and eventually getting married without getting hurt or compromising their faith.

At Focus on the Family, we've offered a range of resources and expert advice bringing biblical principles to bear in this area.

So I thought it might be helpful to mark the (nearly) 10-year anniversary of the Biblical Dating series by asking again, The answer in a literal sense, of course, is "nothing." Not only do the words "dating" and "courtship" fail to appear in Scripture, but the Bible never depicts the sociological phenomenon of an unmarried man and woman meeting, deciding on their own to become romantically involved, and pursuing a relationship from the stages of acquaintance through marriage.

(Song of Songs gets the closest, but it's more of a love poem that teaches the expression of love and sexual desire in the context of marriage.) It's also important, as I've stressed in other columns, not to inject into Scripture implications for dating than are called for — especially in the wrong genres and contexts of the Bible.

The system today's young men and women have inherited for finding and marrying a future spouse leaves a lot to be desired.

We often hear complaints from readers about the confusion, hurt and sexual sin they've encountered despite their best intentions.

In fact, I have to chuckle to myself whenever someone asks me to give a “biblical” perspective on dating.

Not only is there nothing said about the topic, but the concept of dating didn’t even exist in biblical times.

If we’re really serious about “biblical dating,” than our Friday night rendezvous at Starbucks would probably need to include our entire extended family, a dowry, and a couple hundred donkeys, goats, and sheep somewhere in the mix.

I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a pretty awkward first date to me.