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These three examples reflect the more common online dating personalities: the thoughtful romantic, the witty comedian and the spontaneous adventurer.

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Generally speaking, shame refers to negative or painful emotions that are tied to who we are or at least who we think we are.

Unlike guilt, which is usually attached to a specific thing we said or action we took, shame can feel more like there is something fundamentally wrong or broken with us; we feel guilt about something we did, we feel shame for something we are.

It was a virtually sexless union for 10 years before a therapist helped her come to her senses and move on.

Lily never married and spent most of her life caring for an ill parent who died recently.

They may feel that they are bad for wanting to watch pornography or bad because of the kinds of activities they like to watch.

And they may feel as if that shame is "natural" which is to say that it's something they were born with.

Those adventures have spanned 10 counties and four states and involved roughly 45,000 e-mailed words, 27 phone calls, 36 face-to-face initial dates and 13 actual lovers -- and re-aggravated our carpal tunnel syndrome from all the typing.

Years before embarking on Craigslist, both of us had experienced sexual abandonment.

I couldn't help it; his email was password was just too easy to crack. To my horror, he had placed a singles ad on Craigslist. I'd like to say I didn't sit home feeling sorry for myself, but, of course, that would be lying. But at 36, it seemed every cute or kind man near my age was married with children. Sure, Craigslist has had its share of troubles (the Craigslist Killer comes to mind) but I'd be using the online personals section — which is for legitimate dating — and not the "casual encounters" section — which is just what it sounds like. To summon my courage, I got in touch with my inner Angelina Jolie, imagining myself sweeping across the globe on humanitarian missions with a tall, handsome, loving, financially-secure humanitarian at my side. I'm tired of people telling me that I care too much. I've never married and have been holding out for you, perhaps.One of the most dangerous parts of sexual shame is how easy it is to believe that the shame originates from within us.For example, someone who likes to watch pornography may feel shame about their desire.Are you kind, somewhat handsome, healthy but not health-obsessed, not a user or a hater?I'm a reporter who tries to fight the good fight on an everyday basis.After Googling around for a bit, I discovered that several autoflagging programs are available for purchase, and they make it really easy for one person to get a posting removed from Craigslist.Autoflagging software connects to a proxy server, flags the posting in question, switches proxies, flags the listing again, and repeats that process until the listing goes down.We were both hungry for intimacy and physical touch after years of wandering in the desert. Lily Penza, 46, had been overweight since her teens and suffered from dangerously low self-esteem.At age 28, she moved in with the first man who looked her way.I'd heard it said that the older you are, the harder it is to start over, and the fewer the decent, eligible men there are. I was starting to feel like an overripe piece of fruit on a tree, about to rot. Eventually I got sick of throwing myself pity parties; I had to try something. We'd save the world and love each other, maybe even start a family. I invented an email address for myself and posted my ad: LOOKING FOR A HUMANITARIAN. I'm looking for some one who "gets it" — you know, someone who loves to do all he can to make the world a better place, wherever he is. I see myself as empowering and helping such an individual on their path to heal the world with positive energy and possible romance. We can keep each other going — keep each other idealistic and focused on what matters most. In the days that followed, emails began dripping into my inbox.One day it could be talking with a troubled teenager, the next it could be helping to bring clean water to an impoverished community. I chatted online with a few, but quickly learned to ask for their photo upfront.