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Hello and welcome to the Relationship-Buddy chat rooms!

There were redundancy problems at work; my marriage was showing strains; and there was something large and unnameable missing from my life.

Recently, I discovered that my husband has been using adult chat rooms online and seems to have been communicating in sexually explicit ways with other people.

When I challenged him, he was embarrassed and then defensive saying it was just harmless flirting and that he had not gone over any line.

AWith people spending more and more time online, accessing pornography and adult websites can be a big problem in modern marriages.

Online dating has grown in popularity to the point where there is almost no social stigma attached to it.

I ignored it until I could do so no longer, until eventually, for what felt like the sake of my sanity, I resolved to do something about it.

A late arrival into the world of social media, I nevertheless embraced it as a kind of escape.

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And for a while at least, it all felt harmless and innocent, and fun. My father leaving didn't help, and for the first six months of my life I was placed with a notional "auntie", a family friend who became my surrogate mother throughout my childhood.

ASK THE EXPERT: QI have been married 10 years and we have four children aged 9, 7, 6 and 4.